This morning before english class, Dr Robert just taught me that I got fired by Starshine agency!! I've been there for three years now, and I made him get into that modelagency!! The reason was that I was too fat and I wasn't showing up enough.
Since the whole staff changed, they were constently looking at me like I was a jerk, always saying "hum dear you must think of loosing some weight or we'll not be able to make you work anymore", since that time I felt less and less confident in myself, my boyfriend left me, people who were very friendly with me didn't talk to me anymore, and I was too scared (of the people in the agency doing me some remarks) to show up anymore.
I know it seems stupid to be influenced by this kind of people, but even if I've been warn of those dangers, I just couldn't help myself... They are so powerful! Above all on your mind! They can make you earn millions in a day, are just let you die of hunger.
Of course, I didn't have the problem of earning money to live since I'm still leaving with my parents, but by being in that profession I developped a taste for expensive clothes and expensive things, I'd also be 18 in a year and I will have to pay my studies, and later an appartment, a car... In a few years, I will have to start living my life by my own!
And the thing is that I want to be an actress, and fashion can help me to rise in the business world. I'm not kidding, it's true! My ten years of theater can't help me if I don't find anybody to show my experience, I need to be recognize in some way.
Hopefully I still have my closest friends, and I always had someone to comfort me even in the hardest times. But today I feel like nobody understands me, like I have to manage things alone. I want to succeed.
First, I'll beginn a little diet...
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